Good news: after what seemed to be an endless plateau, I saw 127.2 on the scale this morning. I wanted to jump for joy, but didn't want to risk waking up the neighbours.
Bad news: my birthday is approaching fast and all of a sudden everyone wants to go out with me and have something to eat. So I have to brace myself for impact and prepare for gaining some weight. On the other hand, if I don't eat anything for the whole day and stick to safe options while out, I might - just might - be able to get through it with minimal damage.
I'm reading a lot of blogs and websites on disordered eating these days. There seems to be an ongoing trend for worshipping anorexia nervosa, especially among very young women. Even though I do have a weird relationship with food, I'm not one of those pro-ana types, who call themselves "butterflies" and pray to "ana". Pro-skinny, yes. But why would I want to delve even deeper into the twisted world of ED? Self-destruction was not and is not my intention. I want to be skinny, but I also want to stay strong. What's the point of losing weight if all you can do after that is sit in your room, stare at your tiny arms and hate yourself more and more?
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